On learning to be creative again
And why I think everyone can be
When I was planning my second mat leave, I knew that I wanted to try and capture some of the fleeting moments and intensity of that experience, whilst I was still in the thick of it
So I (rather optimistically) booked myself onto an 8 week creative writing course for mums when Aurora was about 3 months old. The
course run by Catrin Kemp focuses on the experience of matrescence and each week you delve into a different theme of motherhood such as a sleep, rage, identity, love and wonder.Little did I know how extreme that period of my life would turn out to be. Recovery from a traumatic birth, sleep deprivation, house renovations, an older child starting school and expressing some BIG emotions around all the recent changes in her little life, a partner often tied up in one of the busiest work periods of his whole career... it was a complete miracle that I managed to show up to the calls each week with baby in tow.
But show up I did because without realising it, I really NEEDED and wanted to articulate what was happening to me. Creative writing exercises helped me tap into the raw, unfiltered emotions that come hand in hand with early motherhood but usually pass by in a haze of exhaustion. Some are ugly, some are beautiful, and but they’re all very real and valid. And the course introduced me to an amazing community of women who were also at the coalface of motherhood and wanted to be able to put that experience into words.
I will always treasure the pieces of writing that came out of that time. They are just for me and for Aurora to read some day if she wants to. But if she ever wants to know what it felt like to stare into her big blue eyes when she was born, or what it was like to be up doing a bottle feed at 3am, or why I chose her name, or what advice I'd like to give both my girls when they turn 18, it's all down on paper for them to find.
And so I guess what I'm trying to say is that giving yourself permission to find your creative voice and tell your story, is a powerful and liberating thing to do (even if it's painful at times). And you can't make assumptions about people. You never know what they're going to tell you. I LOVED hearing what the other women wrote and it was never what you might expect.
Now that I've opened the door to creativity just a crack, I don't want to close it again. In fact I'm just getting started. I might share the odd piece of writing here from time to time, if I think it would be interesting or useful to you all, but that's not really the point. If you have a secret yearning to find your creative voice through whatever medium that is (writing, painting, dancing, singing...), then just let yourself try. None of us on the course were 'writers'. Or maybe we already were, we just didn't know it yet...
Juliette x
If you're a mum to a child under 5 and interested in taking part in one of Catrin's wonderful courses, you can find more info at
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